While it’s important to share your point of view in meetings, it’s critical to know how to do so effectively – and when to stop speaking and listen to others
by Sophie Mackenzie
Do you emerge from meetings frustrated because you didn’t have the chance to share your ideas? Or perhaps, when asked to contribute, you find yourself becoming tongue-tied, the thoughts that were perfectly formulated in your brain proving impossible to express in words. Or maybe you’re an outspoken extrovert who has realised – or been told – that you take up more than your share of airtime and frequently speak over others.
Meetings – whether virtual or face-to-face – are an essential part of collaborative working, but to make the most of them, we need to learn to communicate effectively and to listen to others. But when the individuals that make up a team don’t share the same communication style, it can be challenging for all participants’ views to have equal weight.
The monopoliser
“Many leaders need to be coached to speak up,” writes executive coach Anne Sugar in a Harvard Business Review article. “But what if you have the opposite problem – and you can’t seem to stop talking?” Such communicators, notes Sugar, frustrate colleagues and managers alike: the former because they miss out on the chance to share their views; the latter because they haven’t been able to hear them.
Sugar suggests five tactics that conversation dominators can use to dial down their communication:
- Measure how much you are talking – after a meeting, ask yourself whether you spoke over others and who else was able to contribute.
- Consider communicating in other ways – rather than dominating face-to-face discussion, share your ideas in a follow-up email or on an internal chat platform.
- Practise compressing your thoughts – imagine you are composing a character-limited tweet, or just set out your thoughts in writing ahead of a meeting, making sure you edit out unnecessary verbiage.
- Build in pauses – slow down, take a breath and give others the chance to digest what you have said and ask questions.
- Ask for help – approach a trusted colleague for specific feedback into whether you are meeting your goal of talking less and listening more.
The introvert
In a blog post for Quiet Revolution, writer and speaker Meagan Francis writes that introverts “can have a particularly difficult time getting their points of view across in meetings and conversations”. Their natural diffidence makes them reluctant to interrupt others and they sometimes find it hard to think on their feet, she explains.
If this sounds like you, here are some strategies to make yourself heard:
- Buy yourself time – if you find it hard to articulate your thoughts, come up with a ‘filler’ answer that will buy you time while you mentally compose your reply to a question
- Make yourself heard – use auditory or visual cues, such as clearing your throat or raising a finger, to indicate your wish to speak.
- Come prepared – ensure that the discussion points you wish to raise are included on the meeting agenda, or even volunteer to chair the discussion so you have the authority to set the agenda.
- Get louder – if you are naturally softly spoken, practise breathing exercises to project your voice, speak slowly, enunciate clearly, make eye contact and use pauses to focus listeners’ attention on you.
The minority
For women and minority ethnic groups, “It’s not your fault that your voice isn’t being heard at work,” writes Regina Borsellino in an article for The Muse. She offers five tips for being heard in the workplace:
- Learn to let go of being liked – being liked will not gain you respect, and it will not help you progress in your career if it comes at the expense of sharing your thoughts and opinions.
- Know what you’re going to say and when – rehearsing your message out loud will give you the confidence to say it out loud in a public setting.
- Think about your language – filter out phrases like ‘I think’ and ‘I feel like’. The more concise your message, the less time you will need to be heard.
- Consider your delivery – focus on physical actions such as eye contact, gestures and posture, as well as vocal elements such as volume, tone and pacing. Don’t come across as if you’re asking for permission to be heard.
- Build strategic relationships – a trusted colleague who you know is widely respected can become an ally who will have your back in meetings and support you in situations where you are finding it difficult to be heard.